The Dud Test

An intro to the book I'm writing about a self-defense strategy called "The Dud Test"

I’m writing a book called The Dud Test and it’s based on my little self-defense strategy - that I shared in a viral Tik Tok video - that helps people know if someone is going to betray you.

Check it out below…

introduction

There I was in my dorm room, yapping it up with a new college roommate. A girl I barely knew but was excited to connect with. I have no idea what our conversation was about but at some point during the gab fest, I leaned in and said - with a very serious expression - “Please don’t tell anyone but I’m deathly afraid of ghosts. They really terrify me.” I thought about whether I wanted to elaborate more on this but decided against it as I’d already regretted the words the moment they left my mouth. Not for what I said but the intensity in which I’d said it.

That was a bit dramatic, I remember thinking to myself. I mean, I was afraid of ghosts but… who isn’t? Besides, I didn’t care who knew. Regardless, that evening I fell asleep content with my new roomie and the exciting times that lay ahead for our friendship.

Fast forward three months later. This girl was NOT my friend.

I’d had a sneaking suspicion that she didn’t really like me and had been spreading rumors about me but I didn’t quite know for sure until one day - during a small gathering - things got heated between her, me and someone else. Everyone was arguing and then another person jumped in and things escalated to the point that our RA was called. In the middle of whatever was happening, someone asked her a question and she whirled around, looked at me pointedly and shouted, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Liz why she’s afraid of ghosts?!” Everyone stopped and looked at her with confusion. The argument had had nothing to do with me, much less ghosts, and this weird factoid seemingly came out of nowhere.

That night, I laughed to myself as it dawned on me. She’d tried to use the “secret” I’d shared with her in dramatic fashion as a weapon against me. Finally, my theatrical nature and oversharing had worked out in my favor. I’d watched this person fail in their intentions to harm me in real time. The plan blew up in their face like… well, like a grenade.

I gotta try this again, I thought to myself. This time with intention. That night, my fluke had officially turned itself into an experiment.

My next subject would be a guy who’d expressed some interest in me. He was a known clown and would often joke around with people and I didn’t know if he really liked me or was just leading me on. So I put him to the test. While walking me to my dorm one night, we were talking and I was my usual chatty self. I told him that I loved my first name but that my middle name was embarrassing and I don’t really tell anyone what it is. I watched as his attention perked up. “Well, what’s your middle name?”

Got him!

“I can’t tell you that,” I said sheepishly. “You’re going to tell everyone.”

He stopped walking, grabbed my hands, looked me in my eyes and gave me an Academy Award winning speech about building trust with me. “Liz, I like you a lot and I would never do that to you.”

I feigned unsureness a bit more until I finally relinquished, telling him that my middle name was “Anne.” He zipped his lips and threw away the imaginary key. I gave a small smile and waited.

Four days later, I saw him in the campus lobby. His buddies were nearby and they sat around talking. I walked up and said “Hi!” smiling cheerfully. He gave a wry smile and shouted back as loudly as possible, “Hey Anne!” My jaw dropped but not for the reason he thought it did.

It worked. My test had worked! I looked him in his eye and saw a mischievous glint. Just like my roommate, he’d hoped I was hurt. This test had showed me the way that everyday people - given a little bit of power - could be absolute psychopaths.

Twenty-two years of fine tuning later, my technique had improved drastically and I coined my little strategy the “dud test.” By then, the dud test had saved me on countless occasions and scenarios. I didn’t “dud test” everyone (half the time I forgot to plant anything) but when my red flags were red flagging I usually had one in the chamber.

While the dud test isn’t 100% perfect (what is?) I have found it to be a good start to building trust in my intuition and trust in myself. And more than it has helped me to understand other people, it has helped me to understand myself. The dud test has helped me to temper my urge to overshare. It has helped me to identify my own triggers and how much they have the potential to control me. The dud test has been a look into the magic of words and the psychology of abuse and gaslighting. It has shown me the times where I have not been so sensitive to other people’s triggers, the power of intention, the privilege of grace and how everyone has the potential to hurt others in ways that are “below the belt.”

The knowledge that can be gleaned by incorporating the dud test into your vetting process scares and angers individuals (and institutions!!!) who live in fear of being exposed because, up until this point, they’ve enjoyed continued and unquestioned access to vulnerable and defenseless populations. Or perhaps they have yet to come to terms with their shadow sides so the idea that someone might be able to categorically identify their harmful intentions, without them knowing, chills them to the bone.

I’ll get into all of this later but, ultimately, the dud test is a really neat experiment and I think you should give it a try!